fannishliss

non-fiction, by fannishliss
for LJ Idol, week 3: "brushback pitch"

“Do you want to come up here and teach the class?” the teacher asked, waving his hand at the chalkboard. We were studying ancient Egypt and the hieroglyphic writing system.

I stood up.  If he wanted me to try to work everyone through the material, I was willing to give it a shot.

A gasp of alarm spread like a ripple through the class as I stood, and I realized I'd done something wrong.  I hesitated at my desk, not knowing whether to go to the front or sit down.

The teacher had fired a warning shot across my bow — and I had taken the volley for an all clear.

“Just sit down, okay?” the teacher said wearily.  “Know-it-all,” he added under his breath.

I sat back down in confusion and embarrassment, so I guess the tactic worked the way the teacher hoped.  The hieroglyphics were still unexplained, but I would keep my mouth shut, at least for the time being.

Keeping me quiet is not an easy war to win.  I love to talk through ideas, and if I have questions, I ask them.  I’m aggressive when it comes to pursuing an argument, so my stance sometimes makes people think I’m pushing at boundaries and that they should try to push me back.

For me, learning new things and working through complex arguments is creative and fun.  I don’t see intellectual exchange as a competition where someone wins and someone loses. At the same time, social interactions often seem like a game to me, where I’m still trying to pick up the rules while playing.

The warning shot and the brushback pitch warn the potential trespasser to stay in the designated safe zone. I’ve never appreciated being put in a box.  Lucky for me the warning shot hasn’t clipped me in the head — so far!   I may step back for a moment, but next time I find myself edging forward again, always pushing for more.